Changes

Exactly two weeks to the day that I will be married to my handsome man. I am so excited, my heart and my stomach have constant butterflies. I am happy to be marrying Scott, but dude I'm nervous too! I've never been married before. I don't know how to be a bride, or a wife! I mask my complete excitement with an "everything is fine, I'm not stressed or nervous at all" look on my face. But on the inside I'm feeling "what if none of the rentals show up and I have to have a picnic style wedding?" or "what if the BBQ tastes like butt and no one likes it?" and "what if I straight up vomit during the ring ceremony and my MOH has to stand in my place while I cry in the bathroom?" All of those things could happen, but I'm hoping they won't.

I'm excited to be married. Marrying Scott has been on my mind since I was 16. I filled out our marriage license application and when I wrote "Douglas" under future last name, it felt right. The two of us have literally grown up together but even though we've been dating for 6 years and I am or certain in every way that he is that man I want to spend forever with, I can't help but feel slightly sad to end this chapter of my life as a young, single (as in not married) girl. I've had a few friends get married and none of them have expressed this, so maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm selfish. But regardless of the fact that I feel ready and happy to be married, I am sad about some things that will change.

- Girls trips with my bffs. These will still occur, I will make sure of it but now I will have a husband to take care of and love and it won't be as convenient to just take off for the week.

- Bills to pay! I've supported myself for a few years now but every now and then I ask my parents for a little assistance. Not anymore :( My mom even asked for her house key back, and I was seriously offended.

- Late nights with the girls and my bestest Anne. So many times we all don't get off work until 9 or 10 at night and will meet up for Starbucks or fro yo and sit at someones house and just lounge and talk. I live 30 minutes away now and I'll be married. I can't just take off every night at 10 and get home at 3am.

- Shopping. I love to shop. And Scott knows this as he installed our closets and hung up all my clothes and bought me a shoe rack. He also pointed out we have 5 giant closets in our apartment and I have stuff in every single one. No longer can I just buy what I want, when I want. Which is actually probably a good thing.

Maybe this all sounds silly, but I will miss all of it. It's not like Scott will care if I hang out with my friends or I want to shop very now and then, but it will be different because it's no longer just myself I have to worry about.

I cherish the moments I have with my best friends and I know our friendship will be just as strong when I am married but I will always remember my young, single days getting crazy in the clubs, sipping on a red bull and yelling at taxi drivers.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thoughts in an Empty Apartment

This week I moved into what will be mine and Scott's first hone together. It's a cute little apartment and I have the most amazing opportunity to be the apartment complex new resident manager and Scott will be the new maintenance man on site. We feel incredibly blessed for this opportunity but I'll get Ito that in another post. Tonight I'm thinking about life when I'm married... In one month from today!!!

While I am super excited for my wedding, and our exciting honeymoon in Kauai (bow chicka bow wow...) I am mostly excited to come home and just be married to my hot man. Scott and I have been apart for the majority of our dating life between college, mission, and now he's pretty much been gone since we got engaged in February. Living together and seeing each other every day is going to be a whole new experience and I can't wait!! I can't wait to sleep next to him every night, I can't wait for him to make me breakfast in bed and clean the house :) just kidding. But really, I cant wait for dinners at home together, late night movies on the couch, reading scriptures together and going to a family ward as husband and wife. Growing and learning together. That is what I am excited for. As I sit here in my empty living room with boxes surrounding me I just keep thinking of the life we are building. Someday this living room won't be empty. It will have little chubby babies (hopefully with red hair like Scott) crawling on the floor. My life is changing drastically right before my eyes and I am equal parts ecstatic to start this new journey but sad to leave behind the single girl who only has herself to worry about. Here's to a new step in life.

For you're enjoyment, some random iPhone pics...



Living room.



I'm not going to boast and say I put this together myself... But I put this together myself. That's a California king. I'm five foot nothin. Enough said.




My amazing find at bed bath and beyond. 5 dollars. Going on our couch.

Over and out.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone